2 days feel like 2 weeks. seriously..im having a bad migraine this pass few days. feels like im in water sometimes, floating around. have been taking panadol, it works but only temporarily. another thing that makes time so longg..is having no friends to talk to. Hanis is busy with work..haizz.

welcome!

my circadian cycle is set to sleep at 1200am. i tried to sleep just now but my eyes were wide awake. sooo..what did i did today? I went to school for awhile to collect my monehhh! awesome! gonna get a new specs, new shoes and maybe buy some books :)

Hopefully tmr will be a great day out with Hanis, faizul and yaqub! Finally get to go out together again.

and, yeah..things are going pretty well for me. but, nothing last. the money is gonna be used up soon. tmr will end. then comes another day, another day, another day, until there is no more day. hah..i dunno what i blabbering about oso...i guess thats all i want to say. actually a lot more la but i think too personal and too deep to write, scared you all muntah after reading. okay then..have a nice day :)

"No one is ever tired of loving, but we all do get tired of the cheating, the lying, the waiting, the heartbreaks. And sooner or later, we find ourselves slowly, falling out of love."

do i have a chance?

Okay, its time for a break, have a kit kat :)

seriously, just now exam was not as expected, some of my classmate even said it was joke. though paper was easy, i forgot to be grateful, till Hanis reminded me. man..i always asked for an easy paper, and when i got it, i totally forgot to thank Him. InsyaAllah it wont happen again.

Today i met Hanis, after his interview at Shangri-La Hotel.

trust me, he's gonna be as successful as Chef Wan one day, or even better than Chef Wan.

As usual we wondered around town aimlessly. Listening to his wonderful preaching, im just glad that he's still by my side :)

Mmmmm...not in the mood to write soo much things. maybe next time, take care :)

no smoking

Exams are gonna be OVER soon. yes Faizul, urs finish already..hahah. mm..im starting to draw up plans for the coming semester break. to work? or to spend more time with friends? or sign for classes outside?Im thinking of doin all that at once during the 4 week holiday. mayb just work 3 times a week, the remaining days can use for other stuffs. so siam kitchen! here i come~

The hari raya mood suddenly fading off already. friends hari raya outing? dont feel like goin too. im okay if the group is about 7 to 10 people, but if its like over fifteen people in one go? the house wont collapse, but the house will be in tunggang langgang after everyone leaves. maybe i'll join my class for hari raya outing. Silat, Dikir and MLS geng, happy jln raye without me :)

next in my mind, girls. im too weak for a relationship, i admit it. i dun understand how this thing works or how the hell people get into long relationships. I think im gonna stand aside, just wait for a girl to call me up and say, "hey, ure a great guy, can you be mine forever?". yea..by that time, i would have my beard growing till my toes. Even so, why not i say to that girl " hey ure a great girl, but am i great enough for you?" i dunno what i talking oso..so yea, lets just leave it hanging here.

To whoever who is concerned, i wanna say that i hate cigarette smell (the smoke) to the bottom of my jantung. so if you smoke, please stay the bloody hell away from me, i hate that smell.

sorry for the harsh words, but this is what i truly feel. till then, see you guys in next post, sayur nara ^^

Syawal

Just wanna share what happen during my first day of raya.

First of all, regret to say that i missed solat adilfitri :(

All because of my hp which did not wake me up. my mum told me she woke me up, and i was awake, and smiling to her then i went back to sleep. but i didn't recall that happening. hahah.

feeling guilty, i went friday prayers earlier.

So yea. today marks a new beginning for my family. today was the first time my mum and dad sat on the chair while their children kneeled to beg for forgiveness. actually none of my brothers had the courage to do that. then i decided to speak and just blurted out " k, mak ngan baba duduk atas kerusi, abg wan ko mintak maaf kat mak dulu, ko paling tua." everyone was quite, like as if i said nothing. then my mum break the silence. she told my eldest brother to say sorry to his dad first.

Alhamdullilah, my tears were not for nothing :)

My beloved nephews. they came to my house today. words cant describe how i felt upon seeing thier faces.i miss them sooooo much. i hug each and everyone of them. how they grew so fast. the youngest was closest to me today, his name, syafi. He would'nt let go of my hand whenever we are in people's house. he slept so soundly on my lap during long trips on the lorry. even though my sperm count were decreasing and my legs were fully numb, i didn't move an inch just to make sure he sleeps peacefully..i love him to the bottom of my heart. then it was time to send him back to his mother. it was like losing someone so precious to you. even though he is only about 3 yrs old, i've shared many memories with him. i saw tears at his eyes when i left him. he may be young, but he understands that i really do not want to part with him again :'(

Hopefully i get to see him again in time to come, soon.

apart from duit raya and mouth watering foods, Aidilfitri this year is another special moment for me. Alhamdulillah:)

takbir

Time waits for no man. Ramadhan have left us, and here comes Syawal. and its time to boogie woogie! hahaha. Its hari Raya people! share the looveee..all the great food, meet old friends, the joy of visiting somebody's house, long trips, pretty ladies wearing kebaya and kurung, its just awesome^^

Okay, serious now.

Ramadhan 2010 has brought many wonderful things to my life.

All that i've been through the past 30 days, have made me a better person, InsyaAllah.

but still, there's still lots and lots of things i have yet to discover.

The coming days, will i be the same, or better, or worse. Only God knows.

You, i hope you had a great Ramadhan.

Ramadhan, hopefully next year we'll meet again.

and last but not least,

Selamat Hari Raya, salam maaf dan kasih, semoga happy2 selalu ye :)

Night Of Power

Today i felt so peaceful, like everything seems to be fine and the world seems to slow down. Yesterday night, was one of the memorable nights i had. i was invited by my friend to attend a Qiyamulail at Muhajirin. I was hesistant at first, but i decided to put Him first this time.

The event started with us giving out free dates to public at chua chu kang mrt station. People were mostly reluctant to take the mysterious blue plastic bag we were giving out. some even ignored us. i dont understand these people. but yea the makciks were more than glad to receive the free dates.

Then there was a shuttle bus ready to take us to Muhajirin mosque, located at braddell. it was a long bus ride, the only thing that is in mind was the coming math and chemistry exam.

We reached the mosque, and i was overwhelmed by the number of people who attended this event. then it was time for break fast. we had briyani!

after terawih, we slack aroound the mosque area. i get to meet lots of new friends. we talk and talk and talk till the organiser tells us that it was time for us to go to the auditorium for the next activity. it was time for muhasabah diri.

This is one of the highlight of the night. Specially invited Ustaz came and gave us a warm welcome with the heartwarming zikir. didicazli were event there to recite the zikir.

Then it was time for the real thing.

3 of the ustaz sat by the side. everyone kept quiet. one of them rise and stands at the center of the stage. He began with reminding us the promise we had with Allah s.w.t. the promise we made before we sent down to our mother's womb by the angels. the promise that even the mountains and the sky were afraid to fufill. the promise to be a good muslim, in this world full of obstacles that He sent down to test the iman of Muslimin.

the atmosphere became solemn, as everyone begins to have deep thoughts about what is being said. as the ustaz continued, tears came running down everyone's cheek.

i was at first not having deep thoughts.. but it hit me when the ustaz told us to imagine our beloved parents' figure. then he start to remind us the sacrifice that our parents have gone through. memories of my father sending me to school early in the morning when i was in pri sch came flowing to my mind. then i remembered how my mum used to work day and night to support the family. i broke down to tears. the tears has its reasons. i was afraid that my parents would leave me one day. the thought was unbearable. im just not ready for their absence.

i left the auditorium as a changed person, InsyaAllah. it was time for us to sleep, to gain energy for the later qiamulail. i slept in the mosque by the doors. it was so peaceful. the night were still, everyone was sleepy. after about 2 hours of nap, i was awaken by the thunder. it was raining heavily. in my heart, i said, InsyaAllah, tonight is the night we are are all hoping for, cos i remembered the ustaz told us ealier that one of the signs of Lailatul Qadar is that there would be heavy rains.

It was like as if the world was slowing down. everything seems so calm. i was at peace after the qiamulail. i forgot about the coming exams. the only that is in my mind was all the sins that i have done and how i wish all my sins were forgiven.

This year's Ramadhan, a really special one for me :)

Teacher's day

This year's teacher day, was a great day for me. Never thought i would miss the school that i dread goin to the last 4 years of my life dearly. Bicycle trips, dirty pants, "umbrella hair", "dun talk just smile philosophy"..how nerd can i be? haha

so i left boon lay with so much memories. How i come to school as early as 630 when i was sec and 2. i and norman would meet up in the canteen and talk about life. haha..he always share interesting stories with me. then the rushing last 10 minutes before school starts and most of us has yet to finish our homeworks. but eventually, everyone manage to finish most of the time with each other's cooperation..heheh. then there's the teachers. the teacher i miss most? Ms Amy Chong. though she is strict and fierce, i still adore her. she make geography lessons more exciting and she is just someone so approachable. i and norman used to have small talks with her and it was as though we were close friends.

Lessons, yea..its the least missed. though i miss the sound of the bell and cheeky classmates who make a fool out of the teachers. ahhhhh...i miss Boon Lay!

Those who are still in the school, cherish this 4 years in boon Lay. its the most memorable school life. u'll never get to experience the decency and innocence later in ur life. this is where true friendship begins. this is where ur values and moral are build upon. dun mind the stressful homeworks and long dragging hours in school, in time to come, u are gonna miss those moments.

tilll then, have a nice day :)