June 19, 2012
sembilu
nobody said its going to be easy. but falling for you was just another dream. right now, its time to wake up and move on!
June 12, 2012
Feelings
you know, since secondary school days, i've always failed in love. well, monkey love it is. I would like this person for so long and end up, seeing her with another guy. one of the 'most wanted' guy in the school. I can still remember the feeling. You can literally feel your heart sink. It took me quite a while to get over it. then i liked another girl. we got closer after O's. but, it ends abruptly as I could not get the idea of relationships. We didnt text everynight, i didnt called her at night. the only thing we did together was watch movie and ate at KFC. That was, 3 years ago.
Now, since end of year one in SP, a girl has stolen my heart. I forgot how i fell for her. I remembered one of the days, when i was walking with my friend along the corridor and saw her standing nearby. he said , "eh, kau tak nak tackle die?" and i said "huh? buat ape nak tackle die" I didnt had any feelings for her then. She was just someone i met during FOC camp and somehow we came into the same diploma and yea. I couldnt remember talking to her back then. she's like the normal quiet girl in class. always with red jacket during the camp. i still remembered her crush back then. She told hers, i told mine.
things changed. One day, she gave me this smile that i couldnt forget. everything about her was perfect. Since then, I couldnt help but smile when i see her. I made a mistake by telling a friend about my feelings. It spread like wildfire. right now, it seems like the ENTIRE malay community in SP knows that i like her. from MLS to SPSC. It really cause a stir. She started to avoid me. Once my friend told me, "kau tahu, haziqah nampak kau je die lari" I was like..hais. the whole body felt weak la seh. i emoed. i didnt talk to people. I deleted fb, twitter tumblr. I just wanted somebody to kill me during that moment. Imagine, someone you liked, avoided you.
So yea..I slowly told myself to get over her. I looked at other girls on fb..i distracted myself with other things. But, all doesnt seem to work. My heart is set to like her. So i just struggle through the days, as she gave me the cold treatment. I cannot forget how she smirks everytime i called her. as in call her name. Every day was a sad day for me since then. you know how girls can truly affect your mood. my friends told me, "bodoh betul la kau..die da tak ske kau maseh tunggu". i couldnt give an answer for that, till now.
I guess she knows that i read her tumblr. few days ago, she posted something that really, made me into a depression mode. She likes someone else i guess. hais..you know how i felt? I feel like, my heart literally stops and everything inside just crush into tiny little pieces. that was how hurtful it was. I kept on reading her post till now to see if the post is true or is it just a bad dream. hais. tears doesnt change anything. I really feel like a loser right now. I really feel so down. as im writing this, i feel like..somebody just kill me slowly. its less hurtful that seeing that post. i know i shouldnt be this way. but FEELINGS cant be control. I pray that Allah s.w.t keep this weak soul, strong enough to see her smile the next coming days. truly, my feelings for her has never changed..and i guess will never change.
Now, since end of year one in SP, a girl has stolen my heart. I forgot how i fell for her. I remembered one of the days, when i was walking with my friend along the corridor and saw her standing nearby. he said , "eh, kau tak nak tackle die?" and i said "huh? buat ape nak tackle die" I didnt had any feelings for her then. She was just someone i met during FOC camp and somehow we came into the same diploma and yea. I couldnt remember talking to her back then. she's like the normal quiet girl in class. always with red jacket during the camp. i still remembered her crush back then. She told hers, i told mine.
things changed. One day, she gave me this smile that i couldnt forget. everything about her was perfect. Since then, I couldnt help but smile when i see her. I made a mistake by telling a friend about my feelings. It spread like wildfire. right now, it seems like the ENTIRE malay community in SP knows that i like her. from MLS to SPSC. It really cause a stir. She started to avoid me. Once my friend told me, "kau tahu, haziqah nampak kau je die lari" I was like..hais. the whole body felt weak la seh. i emoed. i didnt talk to people. I deleted fb, twitter tumblr. I just wanted somebody to kill me during that moment. Imagine, someone you liked, avoided you.
So yea..I slowly told myself to get over her. I looked at other girls on fb..i distracted myself with other things. But, all doesnt seem to work. My heart is set to like her. So i just struggle through the days, as she gave me the cold treatment. I cannot forget how she smirks everytime i called her. as in call her name. Every day was a sad day for me since then. you know how girls can truly affect your mood. my friends told me, "bodoh betul la kau..die da tak ske kau maseh tunggu". i couldnt give an answer for that, till now.
June 7, 2012
Keris Kuasa 2012
Assalamu'alaikum..been quite a while since I posted something here. After the incident on 12 May, too many things have happened. From the dramatic committee meeting to Keris Kuasa and all other stuffs. I guess i'll start off with keris kuasa itself.
The event had passed quite some time now but it is still clear in my head what I have gone through that day. The day started off with a quite a heavy test by Allah s.w.t. Somehow we lost the key to moberly. I kept my calm and try not to panic. The moment i heard we didnt have the key, I already pictured the event to take place at some park or something nearby. Indeed, dont underestimate the power of du'a. Allah s.w.t heard everyone's du'a and with his blessings, the door managed to open without the key. At that moment, right away i felt this event is going to be a smooth one and has earned his blessings, wallahu'alam. Everything was calm after that..didnt have any major problems, except that i was quite under-dress..hah. Okay..so eventually we can use the sound system and video was well-liked by the viewers. And then, it was my speech, which i didnt prepared for. Everything came from the heart. I retold what had happened the pass few days and what made me to accept the amanah. to be honest, during the keris mandat, it felt like a mountain was place in my bare hands and my whole body was shaking in fear. Fear that i would not be able to carry out the amanah trusted upon me to manage a club. At that moment, i thought about the committee that would stand by me. La haula wa la quwwata illah billah!
Alhamdulillah, He allowed us to perform solah on time with live adzan in the room. After that we had our briyani.
The event had passed quite some time now but it is still clear in my head what I have gone through that day. The day started off with a quite a heavy test by Allah s.w.t. Somehow we lost the key to moberly. I kept my calm and try not to panic. The moment i heard we didnt have the key, I already pictured the event to take place at some park or something nearby. Indeed, dont underestimate the power of du'a. Allah s.w.t heard everyone's du'a and with his blessings, the door managed to open without the key. At that moment, right away i felt this event is going to be a smooth one and has earned his blessings, wallahu'alam. Everything was calm after that..didnt have any major problems, except that i was quite under-dress..hah. Okay..so eventually we can use the sound system and video was well-liked by the viewers. And then, it was my speech, which i didnt prepared for. Everything came from the heart. I retold what had happened the pass few days and what made me to accept the amanah. to be honest, during the keris mandat, it felt like a mountain was place in my bare hands and my whole body was shaking in fear. Fear that i would not be able to carry out the amanah trusted upon me to manage a club. At that moment, i thought about the committee that would stand by me. La haula wa la quwwata illah billah!
Alhamdulillah, He allowed us to perform solah on time with live adzan in the room. After that we had our briyani.
Semoga Allah s.w.t memberi pentunjuk kepada kami dan merahmati Kelab SP Silat. Amin.
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