Syawal

Just wanna share what happen during my first day of raya.

First of all, regret to say that i missed solat adilfitri :(

All because of my hp which did not wake me up. my mum told me she woke me up, and i was awake, and smiling to her then i went back to sleep. but i didn't recall that happening. hahah.

feeling guilty, i went friday prayers earlier.

So yea. today marks a new beginning for my family. today was the first time my mum and dad sat on the chair while their children kneeled to beg for forgiveness. actually none of my brothers had the courage to do that. then i decided to speak and just blurted out " k, mak ngan baba duduk atas kerusi, abg wan ko mintak maaf kat mak dulu, ko paling tua." everyone was quite, like as if i said nothing. then my mum break the silence. she told my eldest brother to say sorry to his dad first.

Alhamdullilah, my tears were not for nothing :)

My beloved nephews. they came to my house today. words cant describe how i felt upon seeing thier faces.i miss them sooooo much. i hug each and everyone of them. how they grew so fast. the youngest was closest to me today, his name, syafi. He would'nt let go of my hand whenever we are in people's house. he slept so soundly on my lap during long trips on the lorry. even though my sperm count were decreasing and my legs were fully numb, i didn't move an inch just to make sure he sleeps peacefully..i love him to the bottom of my heart. then it was time to send him back to his mother. it was like losing someone so precious to you. even though he is only about 3 yrs old, i've shared many memories with him. i saw tears at his eyes when i left him. he may be young, but he understands that i really do not want to part with him again :'(

Hopefully i get to see him again in time to come, soon.

apart from duit raya and mouth watering foods, Aidilfitri this year is another special moment for me. Alhamdulillah:)